there are too many sorrows

in the space of twelve months to list. Politically, culturally, and personally this year has burned so many of us to the ground. Children die in Syria, collateral damage in a war of – what is it? I don’t even know. There are no good guys on either side there. ISIS is busily and happily destroying everything it touches, dismembering, glutting itself on pain and blood. 

And our cultural losses are not insignificant. Bowie was my lifeline in a very dark place. His music promised me that there was beauty left in the world, and that I might find it again one day. And Princess Leia was the hero of 5 year old Me, a princess who kicked ass and dropped one liners like a pro. An intergalactic Oriana Fallaci. A rebel. 

We are shaped by everything around us, and the loss of so many icons is exhausting. There are no promises that the end of this year will bring relief. But we can hope. 

There’s always hope. 

i keep saying 

that I’ll write something later. Tomorrow. Promise. But later never comes. I’ve got to get in this habit again. 

I have already resolved that I will not write about politics again. I just can’t do that any more. I don’t believe what I once did in the way that I once did, and I am still coming to terms with that. Without the political, however, I’m not quite sure what to write about. Beauty? Fashion? Movies? TV? None of those seem right. Books –  yes. Philosophy? Sure. Music? Probably. 

Whatever. I’ll figure it out as I go. I mean, I’m just making this shit up as I go along. 

we’ve stopped

seeing each other as human. As tribalism takes hold, we begin to isolate ourselves, to look for others to reinforce our worldview. And then, one day, we don’t know anyone who thinks differently. All of the crazy things that sound like crazy things when spoken aloud suddenly seem credulous because others are saying them, whispering to our deepest, darkest prejudices. 

We become numb to bias, apathetic to particular generalizations. We compartmentalize our hatred. It’s okay to hate them a little because of this. It’s okay to despise them slightly because of that. It’s okay to avoid their company because of the things they believe. They shouldn’t expect my sympathy because their beliefs are not mine. 

I don’t want to understand them. 

I don’t want to know why they believe what they do. 

They are less than. 

They are deplorable. 

They are worthless. 

They don’t count. 

We should get rid of them. Nullify their voice. Leave them behind. 

It starts to get uncomfortable here, and it should. Every life matters and every voice should be heard. To think otherwise is wrong. If we stop seeing each other as human, it’s a whole lot easier to start acting inhuman toward our countrymen. Toward others of our species. 

This is how the darkness gets in.